My jam

My jam (what I'm listening to or my current playlist) has always had a big impact on my writing (in that I can't write unless I'm listening to music).

At work, in various corporate and marketing communications positions, I would routinely put on headphones to create the necessary "vibe" to write whatever I had to write; whether it be a press release or an article about, say... tequila.  

Recently, my jam has been pretty heavily influenced by the people I follow on Instagram (let's be honest here, I'm actually only referring to one person; Kylie Jenner) though Kate Hudson posted one of the songs from Rihanna's new Anti album today - Love on the Brain - and I'm really diggin' it. It has an old-school love ballad quality to it, like Santo and Johnny's Sleep Walk, The Flamingos' I Only have Eyes for You, and The Platters' Twilight Time.

(I would post it but apparently it's been taken off the internet... for now... good thing I listened to it 10 times this morning.) Since I can't, I'll post this instead:

 #BBHMM

But back to KJ (Kylie, not Kendall. Or Kris). Thanks to a nifty page on Instagram I get to follow her Snapchat (without actually having to be on Snapchat) and discover loads of new (to me) music. Like Post Malone.

 White Iverson

Saucin'.

Another artist I chanced upon through KJ is GFrsh on Gabrielle Aplin's Panic Cord.

"you kept all the things i threw away"

 

Due to the current, ummm, situation in KJ's life (Tyga) his music has definitely been making it to my playlist as well. From Rack City and Doped Up (Tyga's ode to Michael Jackson's Thriller) to Stimulated (his ode to, ummm, nevermind).

"they say she young, i should've waited"

I actually "rediscovered" a song through Kendall Jenner who had it playing in the background of one of her Instagram videos; Your Love by The Outfield.

"you know i like my girls a little bit older"   

So far, nothing from Kris.

   

Nailing it

Before nail art was even a thing, I was a nail artist.  Unbeknownst to teenaged me, tiny Union Jacks on tiny fingernails would one day be considered normal ordinary trite.   

Nowadays, nail art is such a big thing that I could literally pin it all day. From Jin Soon Choi and Jenna Hipp to Kimmie Kyees, it seems like everyone is a nail artist these days.

nails by ursula

more nails by yours truly

With titles like "nail guru," and sentences that include the likes of "her art can be seen on the fingertips of...," it's obvs that nails are now very big business.

 dead presidents

And growing.

If, and that's a big if, Justin can be credited with bringing sexy back I'm of the opinion that Rihanna brought nails back (while sexy tagged along). 

Thanks to her stilettos, and I don't mean the ones on her feet, manicurists the world over are now sighing, well, a sigh. 

Of relief and rejoicing.

 serious stiletto nails

The time for jokes about "beautiful nail... just one" are definitely over and manicurists, or nail stylists, are definitely having the last laugh.

"she say you look so pretty"

The reason I've been so nail absorbed lately is my latest acquisition. 

An anchor tattoo.

On my hand.  

 ahoy matey!

Ever since a friend oh-so-casually mentioned that my hand "looks like it has rickets," I've been of the opinion that it, and the anchor, would be greatly enhanced by a killer set of claws.

Like Khloe Kardashian's. 

Historically, long nails have always been associated with wealth as they intuit that the person donning them does not have to do manual labour. According to the Straight Dope, ladies of the imperial Chinese court used to wear ornate fingernail protectors to guard their talons from wear and tear.

Kind of like this:

If you think you're ready for a nailgasm, or "the physical and emotional sensation experienced at the peak of excitation from the artistic treatment of fingernails," check out the trailer for the documentary by the same name:

nailgasm, the documentary

Now that you're convinced (!), do like Nicole Richie and get a house call... from
Kimmie Kyees no less!

 "am i screaming at someone with my nails?"

Nailed it!

I only have one question. Should I go pointy or not?

 

Much ado about Miley

“To live in a culture in which women are routinely naked where men aren't is to learn inequality in little ways all day long. So even if we agree that sexual imagery is in fact a language, it is clearly one that is already heavily edited to protect men's sexual--and hence social--confidence while undermining that of women.”  

The above quote is from Naomi Wolf's (in my opinion) brilliant book The Beauty Myth: How Images of Beauty are Used Against Women.

Here's another one: Women could probably be trained quite easily to see men first as sexual things.

But they aren't. 

And therein lies the Great Double Standard. 

The battle around the GDS has recently resurfaced, thanks in large part to Miley Cyrus' VMA performance. I say "thanks" as opposed to "due" because I think Miley has done us all a great service, as opposed to a disservice, by showing  that we've not, in fact, "come a long way, baby."

If anybody seriously thinks we've really come a long way... I have just one thing to ask: where the hellz are we going, yo?

The GDS is glaring when you examine the reaction to Robin Thicke's VMA performance and unrated Blurred Lines video.  He was the "victim" and everyone like boobs, respectively.

Double ick for Robin Thicke.

Miley's co-conspirator quickly sold her out on Oprah by the way, which is just one more reason he's a huge douche kabob.

Here's another one.

the very married mr. ick giving a young fan a colonoscopy

But I digress.

I am honestly surprised, nay shocked, at the amount of controversy stirred up by Miley's twerking, latex outfit, foam finger, Wrecking Ball video, Rolling Stone cover, movement. 

I mean... I can't walk down St. Catherine Street, open a magazine or watch a movie without having 10,000 tits rammed down my throat.

And that includes so-called feminists'. 

That's right, I'm talking to you Femen...

If supposed feminists think the only way to have their voices heard (ha!) is by putting on red lipstick, wearing a vinok and going topless then... let me repeat... where the hellz are we going, yo??

Femen was actually founded, and is controlled by, a man (big surprise right?) who thought young, pretty, topless blondes (that he personally "hand-picked," kind of like mr. ick) would be a good way for him to get his point across.

So Femen's point, just like pop culture's, pornography's, etc's, is to capture the male gaze. 

Excellent.

Does ojectification really equal empowerment? I don't think so. Even though Britney and Rihanna clearly disagree.
 

Strip clubs and dollar bills... double excellent! I feel so... empowered! 

The GDS debate is even more relevant in Quebec, where a new Charter of Values is threatening to disrupt the delicate (pH) balance reestablished since the last... ummm... incident.

Some Quebecers are saying the charter is being enacted to protect "oppressed women" who are being forced to wear religious garb such as the hijab and burqa. What they don't realize is that these same women will now have to choose between their faith and the economic independence provided by their jobs. 

The underlying message is that women who cover up are oppressed and woman who let it all hang out are empowered.

Good one male gazers! I see what you did there! 

Mathangi Arulpragasam, Maya, or MIA sees it a little differently.

Even though she's covered up, she's expressing herself. And that's as opposed to empowering oppressing herself. You see what she did there?

A recent spoof entitled HBO Should Show Dongs is a great comeback to the male gaze because feminists (such as myself... loud and proud) aren't saying we shouldn't show boobs. We're just saying the "dumb double standard," the one that purports that different moral structures should be applied to men and women, is as antiquated as the people who believe in it.

So "don't give us the shaft, show it to us!" We demand genital equality and the end of the GDS. For those of you who disagree with me, I hear Carl's Jr. just came out with a great new ad...

Triple ick. Covered in cheese.

One last word about Miley and the surrounding controversy.  I promise.

If Sinead O'Connor really wanted to do something in the spirit of "motherliness" and "love" she wouldn't have written an open letter with the word "prostitute" smattered all over it. She would have made a private phone call and shown a little respect, woman to woman. 

But I guess that's too much to ask from a famewhore.     

(Almost) Friday five

There’s nothing better than a tight-knit family... of muscles.

With the neverending rain and a growing case of cabin fever, I decided to look to YouTube for distraction. 

In the form of exercise.

Tracy Anderson is a celebrity trainer who uses a unique method of training that focuses on smaller muscle groups to tone rather than bulk the body. Her fans include Gwyneth Paltrow (her business partner in crime), Nicole Richie, Jennifer Lopez and Miss B.

What I like about this arm workout video is that you don't need any equipment to do it and after about three minutes it feels like your arms are going to fall off.

Jillian Michaels, A.K.A. "America's toughest trainer," has a variety of really great videos but the one I tried today, for "killer buns and thighs" features a couple of really interesting and challenging moves (see 3:09 and 3:48).

Killer indeed!

There are a variety of standing ab workout videos that I like (both Tracy Anderson and Jillian Michaels have them) but what works best for me is picking a song that I really like and doing sit-ups (crunches, oblique crunches, bicycle crunches, torso twists), planks, side planks and more until the song ends.

Or I collapse.

The longer, and slower, the song the better the burn. I tried Stay by Rihanna yesterday and today, it hurts when I cough.

For the boot-eh!, or Canadian booty, I like to use the same approach I do with abs. Choose a song and start squatting.

Ewww.

Regular squats, Sumo squats. Squats with front kicks. Squats with side kicks. Static squats.

Basically squat 'til you drop. 

Finally, Tracy Anderson has a challenging grunt-inducing workout that targets muscles you didn't even know you had in your legs.

All you need is a chair.

And the will...

What workout works best for you?







   

  

Friday five

Everybody has their own soundtrack. If life is like a movie then it only makes sense. 

On the show Ally McBeal each character had their own internal theme song and at the time, somewhere between 1997 and 2002, mine was ABC, by the Jackson 5. Probably because I worked as a shelver at a library and it somehow seemed fitting (as well as motivating).  

These days I don't so much have one theme song as I have... five!

Madness by Muse has been running through my head almost constantly and one of the happiest moments I experienced recently was driving with the window open on spring while the almost theatrical song wailed defiantly on the radio.

Stay by Rihanna has also been on constant replay, in my mind at least, for the past week. I have to a admit a certain fondness, shall we say weakness, for music released by certain pop artists, like Rihanna, JLo and even, yes, Britney Spears, and this latest by RiRi is no exception. Catchy and melancholy. Gotta love it.

Thrift Shop by Macklemore, on the other hand, had to grow on me. The first time I heard the song, or rather saw the video, I thought it was a joke. Literally. And not a good one. Somewhere between that time and now it really grew on me... like mould, some might say.

I've had my grandfather on my mind lately and as such two of the songs that he used to sing while driving to the cottage have also been on my mind. I tried finding "perfect" versions, ones that really paid homage to my memories, but not surprisingly none do. Kalinka, written in 1860, and Ochi Chernye, interpreted from a poem originally written in 1843, are the songs.  

I hope you enjoy them as much as I do.