A living language (part 2) or English is ratchet

Since it's still fair to call it the beginning of a new year I thought it would still be cool (#goals) to post a follow-up to last February's A living language or English on fleek. If "language is forever changing" it's probably fair to say that 2015 saw its fair share of new words see the light of day. 

Here are my top ten:

1. Ratchet: While perhaps best known as a tool (ha!) also referred to as a socket wrench, "ratchet" is also used to describe something that is, like, super cool and awesome. Exhibit A: Nicki Minaj referred to Adele as "mad ratchet" in a tweet in response to her rap of a Monster verse on James Corden's The Late Show's Carpool Karaoke.

mad ratchet indeed

2. Basic: Basic is basically someone or something that is boring and unoriginal. It made it into the dictionary as such, in its slang version, in 2015. Personally, basic really made it on my radar when Kate Moss and Marc Jacobs posted a video of themselves calling out various "basic bitches" for escorting Ms. Moss off a plane.

"calling all the basic bitches"

3. Netflix and chill: While everyone knows what this means I remember a time, not so long ago, when I did not. If you don't I suggest you look it up, just for fun. NSFW.    

4. Squad: A squad is defined as a clique of friends, a gang or crew. The word is most often used in hashtags and in high schools. 

5. Ew: Ew pretty much means what it sounds like it means. It's no bueno. Popularized by Jimmy Fallon in Ew!, I'm pretty sure Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie were the first to use it.

"hashpipe like!" 

6. No bueno: Spanish for "no good" (duh!), "no bueno" is part of a larger trend of Spanish words and expressions, like "on fuego," being used for no apparent reason.

7. Slob (or douche) Kabob (or kebob): Popularized by the self-proclaimed queen (of life) Kourtney Kardashian, slob and douche kabob are terms of endearment used for Scott Disick.

8. A variety of phrases from Hotline Bling: Drake's much memed Hotline Bling popularized a variety of phrases, including "you used to call me on my cell phone," "you started wearing less and going out more" and "that can only mean one thing." 

400 million views and counting

9. Sauvage: While Sauvage is not actually used by anyone (yet) I strongly suggest it become Johnny Depp's new name.  Who's in?

Le Sauvage

10. AF: An abbreviation for "as fuck" most often used on social media to reinforce a statement (about oneself, of course). For example:

 Mood AF

Nailing it

Before nail art was even a thing, I was a nail artist.  Unbeknownst to teenaged me, tiny Union Jacks on tiny fingernails would one day be considered normal ordinary trite.   

Nowadays, nail art is such a big thing that I could literally pin it all day. From Jin Soon Choi and Jenna Hipp to Kimmie Kyees, it seems like everyone is a nail artist these days.

nails by ursula

more nails by yours truly

With titles like "nail guru," and sentences that include the likes of "her art can be seen on the fingertips of...," it's obvs that nails are now very big business.

 dead presidents

And growing.

If, and that's a big if, Justin can be credited with bringing sexy back I'm of the opinion that Rihanna brought nails back (while sexy tagged along). 

Thanks to her stilettos, and I don't mean the ones on her feet, manicurists the world over are now sighing, well, a sigh. 

Of relief and rejoicing.

 serious stiletto nails

The time for jokes about "beautiful nail... just one" are definitely over and manicurists, or nail stylists, are definitely having the last laugh.

"she say you look so pretty"

The reason I've been so nail absorbed lately is my latest acquisition. 

An anchor tattoo.

On my hand.  

 ahoy matey!

Ever since a friend oh-so-casually mentioned that my hand "looks like it has rickets," I've been of the opinion that it, and the anchor, would be greatly enhanced by a killer set of claws.

Like Khloe Kardashian's. 

Historically, long nails have always been associated with wealth as they intuit that the person donning them does not have to do manual labour. According to the Straight Dope, ladies of the imperial Chinese court used to wear ornate fingernail protectors to guard their talons from wear and tear.

Kind of like this:

If you think you're ready for a nailgasm, or "the physical and emotional sensation experienced at the peak of excitation from the artistic treatment of fingernails," check out the trailer for the documentary by the same name:

nailgasm, the documentary

Now that you're convinced (!), do like Nicole Richie and get a house call... from
Kimmie Kyees no less!

 "am i screaming at someone with my nails?"

Nailed it!

I only have one question. Should I go pointy or not?

 

When life gives you lemons...

... make lemonade.

God knows life isn't easy. Sometimes, it's downright difficult, painful, depressing.  

But, like with most things, it's mostly what you make of it. 

So I say when life gives you lemons, simply add a little sugar... and make lemonade.

And the sugar that I speak of is laughter.

A friend of mine paid me a great compliment the other day. He said he always knew where I was because all he had to do was follow the laughter. Actually, he said the loud, honking laughter... but I digress.

They say laughter is the best medicine for a reason, zer! 

"We change physiologically when we laugh. We stretch muscles throughout our face and body, our pulse and blood pressure go up, and we breathe faster, sending more oxygen to our tissues." According to scientists laughter acts like a mild workout, increasing blood flow, raising the level of infection-fighting antibodies, boosting the levels of immune cells, lowering blood sugar levels, decreasing pain and improving sleep.   

All that and it's a hoot too! 

In order to ensure that y'all get your daily dose of medicine laughter, here is a compilation of things that made me laugh this week.

Miley Cyrus' best moments on SNL

Apparently Ms. Miley is now under fire from The Stroke Association for a joke she made about why she can't seem to control her tongue, "I'm having tiny strokes, yo!" but I personally thought it was high-larious.  

What are you going to tell me next? That you can't laugh at mental illness? The Silver Linings Playbook proves otherwise. 

And then there's this...

Classic Anderson Cooper (giggling like a little girl)

Cupcakes and Cashmere is a personal blog I try to visit on a regular basis. One of Emily Schuman's newest columns, Links I love, provided a well-deserved laugh this week. And without further ado, here it is: 22 Outstanding Neighbour Complaint Notes. LOL! 

For a guaranteed chuckle, I head on over to my other spirit animal's AOL online series, Candidly Nicole. In it, Nicole Richie brings her "unfiltered sense of humour and unique perspective to life" in a series based on her Twitter feed.

My other, other spirit animal, Chelsea Handler, is an author and comedian who totally cracks me up. Her irreverent late-night talk show and books have provided me with countless guffaws. And a few snorts.    

While the Kardashians are not exactly known for their sense of humour (especially Kim), Kourtney Kardashian has come out with some zingers... including a few that end with kabob. Douche kabob and slob kabob are two prime examples.

Proverb: If you're too busy to laugh, you're too busy...

People don't change

Or do they?

Lately, I've been thinking about the old adage that pretty much affirms that we are all stuck in our own $%#@ and simply can't change.

I don't buy it. 

Not for one second.

While we may not be able to completely transform deeply ingrained aspects of our person, or personality, I think life is a lesson (or series of lessons) that can teach us a thing or two about ourselves and compel us to improve - for the better.

I think this is what Oprah would call an "Aha moment!"

What first got me thinking about this was a a dream I had about Nicole Richie (yes, you heard me right, I dream about celebrities - but only the ones I consider close friends). 

Ten years ago, she was pretty much a train wreck. 

mug shots

Nowadays, she's sober, married, has two kids, a clothing line, jewellery line, an online series, etc. (I think you get the point I'm trying to make.)  

And I absolutely adore her.

pageant shot

There's a scene in the movie Great Expectations, with Ethan Hawke and Gwyneth Paltrow, where Goop's character Estella states, point blank, "We are who were are, people don't change."

Bull$%#@

Just look at John R. "Johnny" Cash.

After watching Walk the Line last night, I came to the realization that love can sometimes be a huge catalyst for change. Years of druggin' and boozin' took their toll on Johnny Cash but, in the end, love took an even bigger toll.

After helping him get sober, June Carter spent 35 years with the man in black. They had a child together and when she died in 2003, he pretty much lost the will to live... and died four months later - of a broken heart.

So the next time somebody tells you people don't, or can't, change just think of Nicole Richie and Johnny Cash and remember that "lies only exist if we believe in them."