A series of unfortunate events OR Resolutions, and all that jazz

2017 was a bit of a shit show, to be honest. 

 *replace 2016 with 2017, and you get the picture

Before it rolled around, I consulted Lainey's (aka Elaine Lui of Lainey Gossip and The Social fame) trusted predictions for the Year of the Rooster. This is the first thing she had to say about being a Rabbit in the year of the Rooster: 

"For Rabbits, the Year of the Rooster is not ‘go time.’"

She wasn't kidding.

The year started off with what should have been an amazing trip but was anything but before turning into something akin to the plague. It quickly went from bad to worse and one thing turned into another; literally over and over again.

My grandmother passed away in April and in May I finally figured out why my apartment smelled so funky: it was infested with squirrels - and everything that comes along with them - and I had to move out after spending months (not to mention mucho dinero) working on the place. 

 mucho dinero

In June, I was diagnosed with Lyme disease and in September, I was told that I had experienced a mini stroke, which explained a lot about the way my brain was working not working. Also, my heart was broken.

As the year comes to a close and I think about everything that happened I can't help but be struck by how much positive transformation occurred, despite the seemingly endless series of unfortunate events.

Thanks to an amazing group of friends, as well as my family, I was able to turn lemons into lemonade (with vodka): I'm living in a great new apartment, my health is doing better than ever and I'm finally doing what I love, full time, for actual cash money. 

Also, I've met some great new people.

Since I'm a strong believer in the law of attraction, I thought I'd use this post as my wish list, or goal board, for 2018. So here goes nothing: I want to keep writing and get better at it, I want to start the book I've been talking about for years, I want to be a better friend, and daughter, and general human being and I want to visit Poland. I want to focus on myself and what's good for me, health-wise, and I want to live with love.

 true fact

Happy new year's everyone... YOLO!

 

New year, new tattoo

I've been in a bit of a funk lately. 

Whether it's the weather, the lack of exercise or the chicken I just couldn't say...  but I know that something (could it simply be me?) is off.

In an effort to "funk-off" I've taken a few steps, like getting rid of my television, joining a gym and eating healthier, to name but a few (um, who am I kidding?).

Also known as... all but the ONE STEP I really need to take!

While I don't believe in New Year's resolutions and actually spent a large portion of New Year's Eve rolling my eyes at the pathetic uplifting NYE resolutions and  proclamations splattered posted on facebook, I actually made one of my own... and posted it on the evil beast. 

But I cleverly disguised it in the form of a Jack Kerouac quote: "One day I will find the right words, and they will be simple." 

On that fateful night, at approximately 10:52 pm, I promised myself that I would do the ONE thing that I know will make me feel better. The ONE thing I've thought about, and talked about, for years. The ONE thing I want to do, and am meant to do, but for some unknown reason simply cannot do. 

And I'm not talking about getting a new tattoo.

I'm talking about writing a book.

There.

I said it.

I've mulled over countless ideas (38 years is a pretty long time to mull) but I'm fairly certain my latest one is the best yet.

Cellular memory. Or transgenerational inheritance.

When I first visited a homeopath a few years ago she mentioned cell memory to me in relation to my health problems, anxieties, phobias and some nightmares I was having. At the time, cell memory believers hypothesized that memories get stored in individual cells which are then passed on through the generations.

As all of my (Polish) grandparents went though the Second World War, my homeopath believed that the traumas they experienced were passed on to my parents, and then me, through cell memory. She hypothesized that these traumatic memories were the root cause of my problems - health and otherwise.

When I mentioned this theory to people a few years ago they largely laughed it off but it looks like the "scientific" world is starting to agree with what homeopaths have been saying for years.

Fear can be inherited through sperm.

According to the now-proven theory, "animals inherit a memory of their ancestors' traumas and respond as if they had lived the events themselves." 

Cellular memory. Or transgenerational inheritance.

What's funny is that I have three tattoos. None of them are images - they all consist of characters, text or words. Now that I've finally decided to apply myself to my life's work, I finally want to get a tattoo with a picture - and no words.

An anchor and some cherry blossoms.

I think it's a sign...