Watch The Bling Ring, I mean.
The reason I waited so long was not because I enjoy delayed gratification, or cognitive control, but because it never came out in theatres.
In Ottawa or Montreal.
No wonder it bombed.
From the moment it started, like the fame-obsessed teenagers it portrays, I was hooked.
And the opening song, Crown on the Ground by Sleigh Bells, didn't hurt. Not one bit.
Directed, written and produced by Sofia Coppola and inspired by real-life events chronicled in a Vanity Fair article by Nancy Jo Sales, the movie provides a not so pretty look at the people who crave, and those who have, the pretty things.
The Bling Ring was a group of seven teenagers, also referred to as the Hollywood Hills Burglar Bunch, who lived in and around the celebrity mothership: Calabasas, California. They were a bunch of fairly wealthy, fairly confused and fairly adderalled teenagers who figured that being infamous was second-best to being famous.
And they had a taste for the finer things in life.
In total, they stole over 3$ million dollars worth of celebrity loot, including designer handbags, shoes and clothes, makeup, perfume and even underwear. Not to mention booze, drugs (hello five grams of coke found at Paris Hilton's crib!) and a gun (Brian Austin Green's).
There favourite "victim" was Paris but they also helped themselves to crap owned by Miranda Kerr, Megan Fox, Rachel Bilson, Lindsay Lohan and Audrina Patridge who was particularly miffed at having to replace her custom-made denim, "jeans made to fit my body to my perfect shape."
Poor her.
Paris allowed The Bling Ring crew to film in her home and I was honestly shocked to see how much stuff she actually has. Rooms and rooms and rooms of stuff. An entire room dedicated to sunglasses.
It's pretty gross if you ask me. And don't even get me started on the cushions depicting... what or who else?
Herself.
Narcissism 101.
In the end, The Bling Ring provides a fascinating "behind the closets" look at Hollywood's most wanted. It's well written, nicely filmed, and the music rocks.
As for the people it portrays... well, they're a pretty sorry bunch. Criminals and victims alike.
The Bling Ring was Rachel Lee, Nick Prugo, Alexis Neiers, Diana Tamayo, Courtney Ames, Johnny Ajar and Roy Lopez Jr.
