Ramblings of an awards show addict

It's been almost exactly two months since my last blog post and I couldn't even remember my password when I tried logging in exactly two minutes ago. 

That is - most clearly - a problem.

To remedy the situation, I've decided to record my ramblings (some might call them witty insights, but probably not most) on the 42nd American Music Awards originally aired Sunday night.

Though the awards aired Sunday night, on ABC in the US and on CTV in Canada, I watched them tonight because I don't have a television and spent wasted two hours trying to find a live streaming feed the night of. 

Without success. 

Oh, and by the way, this is my 101st blog post. Small victories, right?

First off, regarding Charli XCX... how does Gwen Stefani throw her voice like that? Those two have an amazing ventriloquist act going on. Kudos!

My girl Iggy Azalea wins best rap/hip-hop album (and later, artist) of the year. Woot! Loved the fact that she acknowledged it as the first and only award she has ever won. Also loved the fact that she wore T.I. as an accessory.

5 Seconds of Summer... ummm... is it just me or did Green Day discover how to time travel?

Pitbull's best only line of the whole, entire night is uttered. I can't remember it word-for-word but it goes a little something like this: "Now I know a thing or two about a thing or two and I think everyone backstage has glaucoma."

Ha!

Lorde performs and I am super impressed with her performance and voice, which is a first for me. Here it is, should you want to take a look (and have a listen).

yellow flicker beat

Ariana Grande sings and I don't hate it. What is happening to me? I need me some Mean Girls. 

Danica McKellar (Winnie Cooper!) announces the winner of the alternative band of the year category and does not look a day older than she did when she was Winnie Cooper. Must remember to find out what kind of face cream she uses and buy copious amounts of it. 

Selena Gomez performs Heart Wants what it Wants and I love it so much that I play it twice. And cry at the end. Who am I???

take that beaver!

Lil Wayne mumbles, and weezes, his way through a song. I think. All I hear is "Thelma and Louisie." I think. Forget about "they." I "just don't get it."

Fergie's husband, Josh Bechamel or something, introduces Fergie circa 19??. I see more of Fergie's booty than JLo's and Iggy's combined, but more on that later. 

Jessie J, Ariana Grande and Nicki Minaj perform Bang Bang, but not the Bang Bang I like. This is the Bang Bang I like.

 

joe cuba's bang bang

The moment we've all been waiting for. Or the moment I've been waiting for anyhow. Booty. And boy-oh-booty am I disappointed! This is what TV censors have been getting their knickers in a twist over all week?  Puh-lease.

 some video booty 

Lorde lipstick swipe (aka the end).